People Who Throw Cigarette Butts-Why I Drink

Posted on September 28, 2011 | By TheEnabler | Comments Off on People Who Throw Cigarette Butts-Why I Drink

Driving behind a car. Nice car, not super nice, but nice. He comes to a full stop at the stop sign. Long full stop, no one coming. WUCK? I think. Oh well, some people just follow the rules even in California. Then, not 200 yards down the road, he flicks out a lit cigarette butt near dry grass. I was dumbfounded. What the hell kind of person comes to a full stop but throws cigarette butts? Did he stop because the cherry fell on his lap? Is he epileptic so he involuntarily threw it out? What the hell kind of person is that? I demand consistency from the local scum. I felt the sudden urge to run him off the road into the ditch, and almost did it, but realized that the ensuing delay or detour due to police chase was likely to delay the drink I had so suddenly come to need (not that that is a big surprise).


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The Liquor Locusts

The Liquor Locusts

"The harsh, useful things of the world, from pulling teeth to digging potatoes, are best done by men who are as starkly sober as so many convicts in the death-house, but the lovely and useless things, the charming and exhilarating things, are best done by men with, as the phrase is, a few sheets in the wind." ~H.L. Mencken

The Dangers of Thirst

"Let your boat of life be light, packed with only what you need - a homely home and simple pleasures, one or two friends, worth the name, someone to love and someone to love you, a cat, a dog, and a pipe or two, enough to eat and enough to wear, and a little more than enough to drink; for thirst is a dangerous thing." ~Jerome K. Jerome

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The Jug of Empire!

The Jug of Empire!

"How solemn and beautiful is the thought that the earliest pioneer of civilization, the van-leader of civilization, is never the steamboat, never the railroad, never the newspaper, never the Sabbath-school, never the missionary -- but always whiskey!" ~Mark Twain