Impending Doom! Baconocolypse is coming! (Also, how to make Bacon Bourbon)

Posted on September 27, 2012 | By TheEnabler | Comments Off on Impending Doom! Baconocolypse is coming! (Also, how to make Bacon Bourbon)

As reported all over, including here in the Examiner, an “unavoidable” worldwide bacon shortage is expected to hit worldwide in 2013. And if is any guide, “unavoidable” means there is no way to avoid it. Needless to say, there is panic in the streets.

The shortage has barely been felt here in North America, where there remain adequate supplies with small spot shortages here and there. President Obama helped calm things also when, while attending a meet and greet ($75,000 for a martini) at Barbara Streisand’s house, he proclaimed that the United States government stands ready to release supplies from the National Strategic Pork Reserve to take care of the “legitimate bacon needs” of the 99%. He also floated the idea of seizing stockpiles of bacon and bacon related products from the “very rich” (defined as those having more than 10 lbs. of bacon assets). Warren Buffet immediately added that he eats much more bacon than his secretary and that is just not right.

Overseas, as seen in this picture, things are harder:

The tragic aftermath at a grocery store in Hong Kong that was reputed to have a supply of bacon (Lucky 7 Brand, supposedly).

What is causing this shortage? Global warming? Some experts are blaming the backlash against the backlash against the movie mocking Mohammed. These experts claim that Americans are deliberately overindulging in bacon to show their support for free speech and subtle atagonism against Muslim extremism. The real reason? Who is to know? All we know is that bacon is delicious and we may not have enough of it. Tragedy!

So, here is a recipe that can give you at least a bit of that delicious bacon flavor during the long dark night of the bacon shortage:


Take a fifth of bourbon (yes, yes, metric.). Here I would recommend a wheat bourbon which is generally sweeter and smoother than other bourbons. Maker’s Mark, the various Weller’s, Pappy Van Winkle (although why ruin that with bacon) or Rebel Yell (a perfect choice. This innocuous bourbon would do well with bacon and also is not that expensive). Fry 6-8 pieces of bacon and reserve 2-3 tablespoons of bacon fat. Put bacon strips and fat into a long, flat, covered container (a gallon ziploc bag, with the air taken out and placed in a baking dish works perfectly. Leave out at room temperature for 4-5 days (the alcohol preserves the meat). Remove bacon strips and enjoy them. Place the bag into the freezer for 30 minutes or whatever to make the fat solidify thus being easier to remove. Finally, strain the bourbon through a double thickness of cheesecloth or through a coffee filter to remove more of the fat and put back in bottle and enjoy.

(Enabler’s note: Bacon Bourbon is interesting and something to try out on your friends for novelty sake, but really is not that great IMHO. Try it yourself and make the call, though. As noted, it is worth doing once just for the novelty. For looks, you can leave a nice, crispy strip of bacon in the bottle, if the mouth is large enough).

Bacon and Bourbon. Better than bacon bourbon.


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The Liquor Locusts

The Liquor Locusts

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The Jug of Empire!

The Jug of Empire!

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