Fourth Day of Christmas – SHOES!
Posted on December 6, 2011 | By TheEnabler | Comments Off on Fourth Day of Christmas – SHOES!
One thing every man needs, but almost never asks for is shoes. Or, in this case flip flops. An essential part of the wardrobe, but most men will be walking through a liquor store and see a pair for $2.99 and grab them. Sadly, this is not the way to shop for shoes. For, as you are wearing these cheap products, you are walking down a sandy beach, nothing in sight but sand, sand, sand, when all of a sudden you stumble upon something. “What is this?” you think to yourself. Reaching down, you find an ice cold Sierra Nevada Pale Ale. “Sacre bleu!” you shout. How can this possibly be? An ice cold beer in the middle of a hot sandy beach? What is the provenance? Suddenly, you realize – beer – cold – man- gift horse- etc. So, you immediately try to twist off the top and tear your hands because the craft brewers of America eschew twist-off bottle caps. They do not exude the correct, I don’t know what it is, let us call it je ne sais quoi. Bastards.
However, if you were attired in the Reefs, such as this lovely:
Basic yet stylish.
You would think to yourself “My, I look good in these somewhat pricey flipflops. If only I could open that damn beer.” But then, you would realize that you could! For in the sole of these mild mannered flip flops is the church key! Observe:
Your sole source for opening beer.
Necessity, and the desire to prey on weak, materialistic minds, is the mother of invention as they say.
So, buy these lovelies where-ever you can find them. Here is a link to Amazon but I get nothing from them so buy them where you can find them. A super cool gift, though. Plus, if you truly are a Reefs Fan, you might also pick up a Reef’s Calendar, showcasing their great shoes. Oh look, it is going to be cold in December, yet I can still wear my reefs!
Awesome shoes. What shoes? What are you talking about? She must be wearing shoes.
Comments
The Liquor Locusts
"The harsh, useful things of the world, from pulling teeth to digging potatoes, are best done by men who are as starkly sober as so many convicts in the death-house, but the lovely and useless things, the charming and exhilarating things, are best done by men with, as the phrase is, a few sheets in the wind." ~H.L. Mencken
The Dangers of Thirst
"Let your boat of life be light, packed with only what you need - a homely home and simple pleasures, one or two friends, worth the name, someone to love and someone to love you, a cat, a dog, and a pipe or two, enough to eat and enough to wear, and a little more than enough to drink; for thirst is a dangerous thing." ~Jerome K. Jerome
Subscribe to our feed
Search Liquor Locusts
The Jug of Empire!
"How solemn and beautiful is the thought that the earliest pioneer of civilization, the van-leader of civilization, is never the steamboat, never the railroad, never the newspaper, never the Sabbath-school, never the missionary -- but always whiskey!" ~Mark Twain