Strong Liquor
There was an old sailor of Crete Whose peg legs propelled him quite nete; “Strong liquor,” he said, “Never goes to my head, And I know it can’t go to my fete.”
Rugbeer
From Argentina comes the latest innovation in beer vending, Rugbeer. You have to tackle it, hard, to get the beer. But don’t worry, American consumers, thanks to our overlawyered, liability-mad culture, you’ll never have your manhood challenged by a novelty beer-vending machine.
The Liquor Locusts
"The harsh, useful things of the world, from pulling teeth to digging potatoes, are best done by men who are as starkly sober as so many convicts in the death-house, but the lovely and useless things, the charming and exhilarating things, are best done by men with, as the phrase is, a few sheets in the wind." ~H.L. Mencken
The Dangers of Thirst
"Let your boat of life be light, packed with only what you need - a homely home and simple pleasures, one or two friends, worth the name, someone to love and someone to love you, a cat, a dog, and a pipe or two, enough to eat and enough to wear, and a little more than enough to drink; for thirst is a dangerous thing." ~Jerome K. Jerome
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The Jug of Empire!
"How solemn and beautiful is the thought that the earliest pioneer of civilization, the van-leader of civilization, is never the steamboat, never the railroad, never the newspaper, never the Sabbath-school, never the missionary -- but always whiskey!" ~Mark Twain