School Is Here – Time To Plan Ahead

Posted on August 30, 2011 | By TheEnabler | Comments Off on School Is Here – Time To Plan Ahead

Well, school season is upon us.  For the Enabler family, it has meant that our schedule is shot to hell.  Instead of a leisurely getting up, reading the paper, cooking several courses of breakfast (we are a breakfast family), instead it is shovel some cold cereal down the gullet and dash out the door so as to not be tardy to school.

What this all means is that there is a lot of prep-work for the weekday life.  Get the clothes picked out, make sure the sack lunch elements are ready.  Make dinners that are quick and easy, brush teeth, get to bed.  Have homework done.  Have stuff that has to go to school by the door.  Shoes ready to slap on.  All kinds of pre-planning and prep work so that you can just go, go, go.  Catch up on the weekend.

Which brings us to important prep work.  If you are in this school rush, you do not have time to laboriously mix margueritas, or muddle fruit, or do much of the necessary work to fix a life-saving cocktail that plucks you from the brink of kidicide.  (Childrencide?).  So, it is incumbent upon the forward looking parent to do the prep work on the weekends, when there is time.

What can you do?  Well, first and foremost, shopping.  Make sure that you have adequate alcohol to get you through the weekend.  Make sure beer is chilling, wine is available, a sufficient amount of hard liquor is in the house.  If you do not have an ice maker (or if yours DOES NOT WORK!  EFFING REFRIGERATOR!) be sure to purchase sufficient amounts of ice.

Next, prep work.  You can slice limes, lemons, etc and have them stored in the refrigerator in prep dishes or handy zip-lock bags.  You can soak olives in vermouth if you are a classic Martini man.  You can soak cherries in vermouth for your Manhattans.  Or you can mix batches of hand-made margueritas or excellent Sangria in advance.  Both these items will serve well for several days, even if the idiots who write the recipes say they do not.  Alcohol is a preservative, for God’s sake. (I should live forever, apparently.  Or at least look decent after death since I am prematurely embalmed).

So, as you parents out there vault forth into the horrible cycle of pedagogy, remember – Always Be Prepared.  The Motto of the Drunkscouts.


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The Liquor Locusts

The Liquor Locusts

"The harsh, useful things of the world, from pulling teeth to digging potatoes, are best done by men who are as starkly sober as so many convicts in the death-house, but the lovely and useless things, the charming and exhilarating things, are best done by men with, as the phrase is, a few sheets in the wind." ~H.L. Mencken

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The Jug of Empire!

The Jug of Empire!

"How solemn and beautiful is the thought that the earliest pioneer of civilization, the van-leader of civilization, is never the steamboat, never the railroad, never the newspaper, never the Sabbath-school, never the missionary -- but always whiskey!" ~Mark Twain