Mea Culpa Mea Missa Christmas Days!

Posted on | December 28, 2011 | No Comments

Sorry, I must apologize.  I tried to do the 12 days of Christmas Gifts but I got caught up in trying to catch up on the season and did not get all the posts made.  I have some of them done, but they are not topical so now I am ahead of the game for next Christmas!  Woot!

 

And now, just to take your mind off it, how about this ad from the Cabana Cachaca liquor campaign?

Now you have completely forgotten about my missing posts.

And if you want some Liquor Soft Core Porn, go here and go to the “Bar” on the map for the Cabana whatever the heck it is website.

Fourth Day of Christmas – SHOES!

Posted on | December 6, 2011 | No Comments

One thing every man needs, but almost never asks for is shoes.  Or, in this case flip flops.  An essential part of the wardrobe, but most men will be walking through a liquor store and see a pair for $2.99 and grab them.  Sadly, this is not the way to shop for shoes.  For, as you are wearing these cheap products, you are walking down a sandy beach, nothing in sight but sand, sand, sand, when all of a sudden you stumble upon something.  “What is this?” you think to yourself.  Reaching down, you find an ice cold Sierra Nevada Pale Ale.  “Sacre bleu!” you shout.  How can this possibly be?  An ice cold  beer in the middle of a hot sandy beach?  What is the provenance?  Suddenly, you realize – beer – cold – man- gift horse- etc.  So, you immediately try to twist off the top and tear your hands because the craft brewers of America eschew twist-off bottle caps.  They do not exude the correct, I don’t know what it is, let us call it je ne sais quoi.  Bastards.

However, if you were attired in the Reefs, such as this lovely:

 

Basic yet stylish.

You would think to yourself “My, I look good in these somewhat pricey flipflops. If only I could open that damn beer.” But then, you would realize that you could! For in the sole of these mild mannered flip flops is the church key! Observe:

Your sole source for opening beer.

Necessity, and the desire to prey on weak, materialistic minds, is the mother of invention as they say.

So, buy these lovelies where-ever you can find them. Here is a link to Amazon but I get nothing from them so buy them where you can find them. A super cool gift, though. Plus, if you truly are a Reefs Fan, you might also pick up a Reef’s Calendar, showcasing their great shoes. Oh look, it is going to be cold in December, yet I can still wear my reefs!

Awesome shoes. What shoes? What are you talking about? She must be wearing shoes.

Make your own Bourbon – Woodinville’s 3rd Day of Christmas

Posted on | December 5, 2011 | No Comments

I know that I have posted about this before (Here), but it has to be brought back for Christmas!  If you want a great gift that is unusual but not stupid, this would be the one.  Plus it has the benefit of making people remember your gift for several months if nothing else.   So, here is the skinny.  Buy it at Costco or through Woodinville Whiskey, but it is such a great gift.  They give you the white dog (unaged whiskey) the barrel, some other doo dads, instructions (put in barrel, wait) and there you have your own bourbon making kit.  Get creative with labels on the laser printer and you have the coolest brag gift when your friends come over and want a drink.  So, buy it.  BUY IT!

You can buy this online at Woodinville Whiskey Company for $149.99 if laws allow it to be shipped to you. Costco, though, $99.99. It comes with two bottles of White Dog and the barrel for accelerated aging. Should be ready in about 3-6 months of aging. The barrel supposedly can be used 5 times and then becomes a very cool conversation piece.

 

Just pour in, wait...........3 months, and drink!

Corner Creek Reserve Bourbon – The Review

Posted on | December 3, 2011 | No Comments

The font has been changed on the recent bottle from "goudy" to "old claude". Oolala!

The gifts of Thanksgiving linger on.  And by that I mean the bourbons that we bought on the way to the relative’s house.  Amazingly enough, they have not been killed as of yet.  So, today we take glass in hand and look into the darkest, or most amber, depths of one of our aquisitions – Corner Creek Reserve Bourbon.

Color – The bottle is green so it has a deep amber color when in the bottle.  A lighter amber color in the glass.

Nose- A light nose,  a generous dose of vanilla, floral notes.   If I ate a rose bush, it would make me think of this bourbon.  Or at least in my mind that is how I think rose bushes taste.

Tongue – It starts smooth on the tongue, with a bit of bite along the edges as it moves back.  A little vanilla and caramel.  Earthy and simple, with some spice.  Not a lot of complexity.

(Note from the Palate – it went well with jello)

Finish – Short but pleasant.  More sweetness on the finish than on the tongue.

Would I buy it again?  Under $15.00, certainly, $15-20, maybe, above $20.00 not so much.  Not that it is bad, just that there are others in that price range I probably prefer.

In other reviews that  I browsed, one person mentioned that it is a bourbon that would go well with a steak.  They might be right.  Short, not complex, a bit astringent, it might go well with a good slab o’ beef.  I might have to try that.  (The Palate – might go well with stuffed portebello mushrooms – a little bread and cheese stuffing)

 

88 Proof.  Distilled in Bardstown, Kentucky.  Who makes it?  I do not know.  From what I can find (in 23 seconds of research, or at best maybe an hour or two, Heaven Hill seems the best bet).  Aged 8 years.  The mashbill?  Who knows.

On the second day of Christmas…..Clean Hands

Posted on | December 1, 2011 | No Comments

My true love said to me – wash your hands! Do you know where those hands have been? I do! Wash up. And what does the alcoholphile (a fancy way of rationalizing drinking) use to wash his hands? Everclear of course. But, if you do not have everclear, then how about this?

MALIN+GOETZ Hand Wash Set, Rum + Lime 1 Set

Linked HERE to Amazon (again, this is a suggestion, I receive no money for this purchase if you do in fact make it) this is a good gift for that man in your life if you want something kind of cool, although the packaging in fact sucks. But the soap itself would be nice.

And here is some kind of description by “wordsmiths”.

Malin + Goetz Rum + Lime Hand Wash Set Handy Gift SetHand it to Malin + Goetz to come up with this wonderful gift idea. This gift set features the brand’s popular Rum and Lime Hand Washes beautifully packaged in a colorful box. Both soaps gently and effectively purify and balance all skin types and rinses free of residue without irritation, drying or stripping. Gift set features Rum and Lime scented soapsHydrating foaming cleansing gels for hands Gently purifies and balances skin Especially Suited For: All skin types Essential Elements: Set includes Rum and Lime Hand Washes. Free of: Parabens, silicones, synthetic dyes, waxes, harsh detergents, dyes, synthetic perfumes For Best Effect: Apply directly to wet hands. Rinse clean

On the first day of Christmas….A gift suggestion

Posted on | November 30, 2011 | No Comments

My true love gave to me …… a bee-eee-eee-eeee-eeeer!  Or maybe a pouring spoon to make black and tans.  Now, I do not receive anything for this post, have never gotten a free spoon, but I think this a great item, very cool, and from a small operation trying to make it.  So, buy one, give it to those you love who need one for their home bar, and also watch the Bob and Doug Video!

Buy it. Buy it! BUY IT!

You can go here to purchase it for a very reasonable $10.99. Black and tans are great to drink and impressive if you can pour them.

And now, for your brewing – I mean viewing – pleasure, The Great White North.

Tormore Single Malt Scotch – The Review

Posted on | November 25, 2011 | No Comments

Tormore 12 Year Aged Single Speyside Malt

Thanksgiving brings us many things to be thankful for, family, friends, the good food we have, and our lives in general, which are fairly good. Most of all, though, we give thanks that on the way to the in-laws we have to drive by a very good liquor store. This time my better half, The Palate, she who must be obeyed as it were, had us pick up a bottle of Scotch. She is a fan of the Speyside district Scotches, so she grabbed a bottle of the Tormore 12 year old. From the Speyside, plus in a lovely blue box.

Amazingly, it is almost drinkable – high praise from me for a Scotch;

Color – a light amber

Nose – Light and sweet. Not much alcohol on the nose but exhale into the glass and it makes your eyes water. (A good sign although this is only an 80 Proof Scotch).

Taste – Very sweet on the front of the tongue. Plenty of vanilla and honey. The tasting notes supplied with the bottle mention a touch of smoke and a citrus tang. We don’t find that. A spicy finish with a little bite might give some that impression.

This is Scotch we would place in the dessert Scotch category, rather than the appertif Scotch category. It would pair well with cheese, or a cigar, or a cigar shaped cheese. Hey, who are we kidding, what doesn’t go well with a cigar? Or a cigar-shaped cheese for that matter.

We would rate this as a very drinkable Scotch, although at $50.00 or more per bottle, you may find things you like better at that price point (See our review on Glen Rothes Alba Reserve)

Drink neat or with just a touch of water. This Scotch is not bold enough to win the fight with a lot of ice.

The Tormore Distillery is a very recent distillery, built in 1958. It was the first new distillery built in the 20th Century in Scotland and the beautiful building was designed by architect Sir Albert Richardson, a fellow and past president of the Royal Academy.

Drink in this beautiful distillery.

Give Thanks for Bourbon -Bourbon Pairings For Thanksgiving

Posted on | November 23, 2011 | 2 Comments

In the difficult and busy run-up to Thanksgiving, many people forget one of the most important considerations – What bourbons to serve? Oh, everyone discusses what type of green beans to have, should you brine the turkey or not, what pies are we having? But who, who I say, asks the most important question – What bourbon are we serving? Well, let me tell you, very few people are so enlightened.

Let the wussified masses debate whether Chardonnay or Fume Blanc should be served. You spit on them. You are made of sterner stuff. The blood of Carrie Nation flows in your veins (the dark, hidden blood that she never let out of it’s box – but now it runs free in your generation!)

Should you, though, be wondering, here is my suggestion. These are all readily available bourbons so no problem in finding them.

Always a good start.

First for the appetizer course – I would suggest Woodford Reserve. Sweet, elegant and delicious. Not a ton of complexity, but enough to give you something to think about as your Aunt Edna tells you stories about when she was a “hellion.” It has a long finish with hints of vanilla on the nose and fades in to oak and a bit of spice and ends in sweetness. It would go well with the Onion Dip that hipsters have “rediscovered.” Drink it neat or on the rocks.

For the Turkey Course – Wild Turkey, of course. Ha, just kidding. I was thinking Knob Creek (Although Wild Turkey Rye would also go extremely well). At 100 Proof, Knob Creek has enough alcohol bite to help cut through the Turkey coma, the lumpy mashed potatoes, and the cranberry sauce. While others swill wine, drink it neat with a water back. The sweetness is an undertone, while there is a strong flavor of roasted nuts and a hint of honey. The finish is reasonably long, but what makes it work for the main course is the full body and the alcohol level. A word of warning, though – make sure you drink a lot of water with it, and not just the bourbon or you will not make the dessert round.

Finally, for the dessert course – and here there can be some debate – I would suggest Angel’s Envy. One of the very smoothest of bourbons, it dances on your tongue like 18,948 angels on the head of a pin (Yes, that is the answer). Angel’s Envy has a subtle nose, bringing to mind caramel and pecan pie and a hint of ketone’s that I just can’t nail down in my head.. It has a rich mouth feel, but rides lightly on the tongue. If you take the time you realize it has a hidden complexity about it with tastes of vanilla, caramel, oak and orange, a very subtle orange (At least that is what my brain is telling me now). This is definitely a bourbon you can enjoy easily on the end of the dinner and would go well with coffee and pie.

And there you have it. While others worry about the mashed potatoes, you keep your eyes on the important things – What bourbons are we serving?

Happy Guy Fawkes Day! The Occupy Wall Street Cocktail to celebrate!

Posted on | November 5, 2011 | No Comments

As noted in last year’s post, I love Guy Fawkes Day. Celebrating the day a man tried to blow up his government. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone, I say.

Which brings us to the Occupy Wall Street protests. Something everyone can get behind (or at least 99% of everyone, lol). Who among us does not feel that the government and big business and many institutions are merely they to serve the political elite as well as their minions the bureaucrats? Of course we all do. Now, when it gets down to specifics, that is when the whole thing falls apart.

However, on this happy day, let us put aside the details. After all, that is where the Devil resides. So, to celebrate Guy Fawkes, let us quaff the Occupy Wall Street Cocktail.

THE OCCUPY WALL STREET COCKTAIL

Ingredients:

12 oz. of Budweiser in an extra large glass. (What better beer to represent the 99%. Pabst would also be perfectly acceptable)

1 shot of Goldschlager. (The perfect example of the hedonistic excesses of the 1%. Shameful flaunting of excessive consumption)

Take the shot glass of Goldschlager and drop it into the glass of beer. Yell “Power to the People”, pump your fist into the air twice and drink it down. Bonus points if you have a hand lettered sign or cocktail napkin with some bizarre or obscure political demand. Additional bonus points if it mentions the Illuminati (is this post still here?) or the Bilderberg Group.

Vote Guy Fawkes — The Only Man Ever To Enter Parliament With Honest Intentions .

For a little historical context: (From the British Concise Encyclopedia)

born 1570, York, Eng. — died Jan. 31, 1606, London) British conspirator. A convert to Roman Catholicism and a religious zealot, Fawkes joined the Spanish army in the Netherlands in 1593 and became noted for his military skill. In 1604 he returned to England and joined a group of Catholic zealots intent on blowing up the Parliament building. When details of this Gunpowder Plot were discovered — Fawkes had planted and camouflaged at least 20 barrels of gunpowder in a cellar under the Parliament building — Fawkes was arrested on Nov. 4, 1605. After being tortured to reveal the names of his accomplices, he was tried and executed opposite the Parliament building. England celebrates Guy Fawkes Day on November 5 with fireworks, masked children begging “a penny for the guy,” and the burning of Fawkes in effigy.

Jim Beam’s Go to Mardis Gras – Unless you live in a Stupid State (Yes, California, I am speaking to you) – News You Can Booze

Posted on | October 26, 2011 | No Comments

Jim Beam is hosting a Devil’s Cut Unleash Your Spirit Contest that will send 5 lucky winners for 3 days and 2 nights to Mardis Gras in New Orleans in 2012.  You must enter here by December 3, 2011 to be eligible.  There are also 2nd and 3 prizes that are not so awesome and you can also enter by some kind of text thingy but to do that you have to read all the details here:

 

Oh, yeah, you get to ride in a float, too, with girls like these.

 

Also, if you are stupid enough or unlucky enough to live in California (And God only knows why you would, but I also do, so I guess I fall in the stupid category) you cannot enter.  I am not sure why, but given how our legislature spares no effort to screw the ordinary citizen, I am sure that they put in some stupid law to take away this tiny chance of winning a brief respite from California.  Perhaps they were afraid we might find out that other states exist and don’t suck quite as much (except for weather, scenery and restaurants).  If you want to know details there is lots of tiny print I can’t be bothered to read here.

 

Oh well.  Enter and win and tell me how coo it is.

 

 

Yeah, the weather.

« go backkeep looking »

The Liquor Locusts

The Liquor Locusts

"The harsh, useful things of the world, from pulling teeth to digging potatoes, are best done by men who are as starkly sober as so many convicts in the death-house, but the lovely and useless things, the charming and exhilarating things, are best done by men with, as the phrase is, a few sheets in the wind." ~H.L. Mencken

The Dangers of Thirst

"Let your boat of life be light, packed with only what you need - a homely home and simple pleasures, one or two friends, worth the name, someone to love and someone to love you, a cat, a dog, and a pipe or two, enough to eat and enough to wear, and a little more than enough to drink; for thirst is a dangerous thing." ~Jerome K. Jerome

Subscribe to our feed

Search Liquor Locusts

The Jug of Empire!

The Jug of Empire!

"How solemn and beautiful is the thought that the earliest pioneer of civilization, the van-leader of civilization, is never the steamboat, never the railroad, never the newspaper, never the Sabbath-school, never the missionary -- but always whiskey!" ~Mark Twain