Lokoween – Crazy, Caffeinated Halloween Commercialization.

Posted on September 20, 2012 | By TheEnabler | 2 Comments

Halloween has turned out to be the biggest adult party in a crazy sense holiday there is. New Year’s is close but is a bit more sedate and dignified. Unless you are Lindsay Lohan, but you are not (I don’t think she can read, especially since everything is blurry and spinning for her).

You are throwing a Halloween party and you want a theme, more than just dressing up. Pimp’s and Ho’s? Did that. Cowboys and OAP’s? (Oppressed Aboriginal People’s). That was fun until the loony lefties made you use authentically themed costumes for the women. That was not sexy. So you need a new theme. Thankfully, crass commercialization has given you one. LOKOWEEN!

Get your drank on for Lokoween!

So, you can go to Four Loko’s facebook page and get connected to the Lokoween theme and who knows, maybe they will sponsor your party. They also have some kind of scary Clownimorphify your Face software that they will be giving out soon, so look for that coming soon. Here is the scary clown thing’s image:

I hate clowns. Hate them.

Anyway, there you have it. America at it’s finest. And the reason I post this is I delight in how pissed off the crappy liberal elites who know better than you what you should consume get-as detailed in an earlier post by my colleague The Bon Vivant. So, tell the Nanny State to kiss your Four Loko and get out of your face.

Important update: As noted in the comments by loyal reader Ashley, Four Loko no longer has caffeine in it. Voluntarily reformulated to help protect it from some of the witch hunts various states were undertaking (Full Disclosure: I live in California, the most screwed up state in the union, and they were banning Four Loko and “other” drinks that were premixed with alcohol and caffeine. Because no one would ever order a Red Bull and vodka because mixing is too hard.) So, thank you for that update, Ashley.


2 Responses to “Lokoween – Crazy, Caffeinated Halloween Commercialization.”

  1. Ashley
    September 25th, 2012 @ 7:29 pm

    Four Loko no longer contains caffeine and has not for some time now. They voluntarily reformulated.

  2. TheEnabler
    September 25th, 2012 @ 10:09 pm

    Seriously? What is the point, then? But thank you very much for your information/comment. I have not yet even had a Red Bull and Four Loko seems pointless to the type of drinker that I am. Mostly brown liquor, mostly straight. Thanks again.

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